no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
And then the night went full on bisexual.
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
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