she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
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