yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Randomize
