ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
i out mim tonsoeep
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
