1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
don't judge my taste in strippers
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
Randomize
