I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
Randomize
