After last night, I could never be a politician.
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
I just gift wrapped bread.
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
Randomize
