Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
Randomize
