sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
Randomize
