he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
ttyl tear gas
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
You pole danced in your parka.
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
Randomize
