were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
Thanks for jumping on that grenade for me last night. You're the best wingman ever
She ate 7 of the 8 slices of pizza. I deserve a purple heart and sex w your sister
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
Randomize
