i think my tv is drunk
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
Randomize
