found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
The chlamydia really affected his face.
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
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