It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
Randomize
