If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Randomize
