he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
That's how pantless uber rides happen
Randomize
