I wish I could punch you in the face.
He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
they're like a gay fantastic four
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
Randomize
