We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
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