I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
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