two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
