atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Randomize
