i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
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