so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
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