she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
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