I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
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