he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
