so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
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