So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
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