i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
Randomize
