had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
