I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
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