You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
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