How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
Randomize
