she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Randomize
