let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
Randomize
