am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
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