U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
Will you blow on my dice?
I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
Multitasking record: pooping whilst putting on shoes and cleaning ear with q-tip. All while texting.
Update: fell off toilet, one shoe on, q-tip still in ear. Not a pro.
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
Randomize
