I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
Randomize
