We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
Randomize
