so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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