Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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