Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
Randomize
