do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
