I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
Randomize
