So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
Randomize
