i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
Randomize
