Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
Randomize
