I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
Randomize
