Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
Randomize
