Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
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