its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
Randomize
